"Will you be her godmother?": the question that deserves a postcard
Published on 5 October 2026 · 3 min read
You've been thinking about it for months. Sometimes since before the birth: she'll be the godmother. Or he'll be the godfather. And then, when the day comes to actually ask, the question gets slipped in at the end of a phone call, somewhere between a bottle and a load of washing: "Oh, by the way, we wanted to ask you…" The answer is yes, of course, everyone is moved for thirty seconds, and the conversation moves on. That's a shame. It's not a question you ask ten times in a lifetime, and the person who says yes is signing up for a long while. A question like that deserves to arrive in a letterbox, with a photo, and to be something you can keep.
Why a card rather than a call
On the phone you have to answer straight away, and the answer always comes out a bit sideways: "Oh! Well, yes! Obviously!" A card gives the other person time to be touched on their own, standing in the hallway with the post in their hand. It also leaves a trace. Ten years from now, when the goddaughter asks "why are you my godmother?", all it takes is opening a drawer to show her the answer. No voice note does that. And don't worry about the suspense: they'll ring you within the minute, and that call will be far better than the one you would have made.
The photo: the child, and nothing else
No need for staging, or for a babygrow printed specially. Pick a simple, well-lit photo where you can see the face: the baby asleep with clenched fists, staring very seriously at the lens, or gripping a finger. If you have one where the future godmother is already holding the baby, that's the one, no question. And if the baby isn't born yet, a photo of the two of you, fifteen years ago or last summer, says very clearly why you chose her. The card will end up on the fridge or in a frame, so choose a picture people will want to look at for a long time.
The words: say why her, not what she'll have to do
There's no point describing the role, she knows it. What she doesn't know is why you thought of her. Write it in one true sentence: "You're the one who taught me to ride a bike with no hands, and I'd like you to teach Alice a few bad habits too." Or: "We were looking for someone Leo can count on the day he stops talking to us. We didn't look for long." Then the question, as plain as can be: "Will you be her godmother?" You can also let the baby do the talking, if that sounds like you: "I hear you make the best pancakes in the family. Handy, because I'm looking for a godfather." Three or four lines are enough. And no ceremony date or list of things to organise: that comes after the yes.
The right moment to send it
There's no rush, and that's a good thing: this card doesn't have to land on a particular day. Send it once your mind is made up, during the pregnancy or in the first few weeks. If you'd like an answer before a christening or a family gathering, give yourself a good month, so the card has time to arrive and the two of you have time to talk about it. And if you're choosing a godfather and a godmother, make two cards, with two photos and two different reasons: each of them should feel the question is being asked of them alone.
With UnCoucou, you choose the photo and write your question from your phone; we print your card on thick premium paper and hand it to La Poste with our next dispatch (there's at least one a week). It then takes 2 to 5 working days to arrive, from €2.49 a card, stamp included. One morning, between two bills, someone will find a photo of your child and a question you only answer once. Keep your phone close that day.